In high school we wrote out those 10 year plans. I distinctly remember wanting to be married and have TWO kids by 27 and I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted to do, but I knew it would involve pencil skirts and heels.
I am 30, I have a job I love where I get to wear pretty much whatever I want, I have zero kids and not sure I want to have any, and I avoid wearing heels at all costs and I feel like my life is just getting starting.
I feel like we are giving these ideals and standards of living that deem us successful .The car, garage, kids, 9 to 5 job etc. It has taken me 12 years to get through college and I hate every second of it. Everyone would say I would feel so great after I finished and well, I just got my first student loan bill and I feel anything BUT great! I felt pressure to go to college, so I did. I felt pressure to get a respectable job, so I started going to nursing school. Guess what, that stuff isn’t who I am, not right now anyways. That is the other beautiful thing about life, YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND! I was telling a co worker the other day, I want to be ALL THE THINGS. I have always had a really difficult time finishing tasks but starting them, OH, I love it! It drove my mom crazy when I was a kid I always had at least 4 books I was reading and a handful of creative and messy projects going but when it came to finishing them, meh, not interested. I am still that way today. For example. I love going to Powell’s and getting new books. I love the smell of the book, the crispness of the page, the excitement of a new journey buuuut about 100 to the end, I am over it. I rarely finish books! How annoying, I know! I don’t think this is exactly a good thing, in fact I wish I had more perseverance and tenacity in some areas but I don’t. I do in some areas though , such as finding my place in life. Finding what brings me peace of mind and joy and I wont stop until I get it.
I live a life that is a little chaotic. If you have known me for the last 10 years you know I have had more addresses than you have in all you life, I have a different job every 6 months, I am always changing “what I want to be when I grow up”, and guess what, I am becoming ok with that. I am comparing myself less to others and trying to focus on what drives me and what I want to do while on this planet. When things get to kush and comfortable, I get uncomfortable. I need to shake things up. I die inside when I feel stagnant and will do anything to avoid that.