Where I am today

Today is Saturday November 5th. I am sitting on the couch in the home I grew up in, in Milton Freewater Oregon.  I am home because my mother unexpectedly and abruptly passed away exactly 2 weeks ago today.

 Two weeks ago today my life forever changed. I saw my mom attached to machines keeping her alive. I saw her in such vulnerable painful state. One I never wanted to witness because I never wanted to imagine I might actually lose my mom. My ideal situation would be that all of my immediate family just go together, but I knew it wouldn’t happen that way, but I never thought it would happen like this.

 Losing my mom feels surreal. I have her phone number in my favorites list in my phone and every time I see it, I can’t believe she is gone. She was my rock. She was one of my biggest fans. She showed me what unconditional love was. I never would have been ready to lose my mom.